My Very Own Holiday Movie
I admit it. I watch those soppy, predictable holiday movies on TV. If you need a template for each and every plot of the dozens of movies available between Thanksgiving and Christmas this is it:
Man or woman soured on the holidays avoids celebrations entirely. Appropriate love interest enters, masquerading as a boss, troublesome neighbor, or a not-so-forgotten high school/college friend. Stars cross, time passes and through the magic of the holidays, the possibilities for joy are revealed. The quest for money, power or self-importance is stripped to its fraudulent core. At last, the lovers find their other half; fade to starry night, and cue the soaring chorus. Surprise and relief, all ends well. I just can’t get enough.
Escapism has its place in our lives. I have a particularly big space set aside for the fast dash to another planet where peace is the norm and joy is always in site.
These past few days, it has been harder to find the magic. Maybe that’s why my television flights of fantasy are called movies – not life.
I’m trying to keep up with the election fallout and it’s not an easy task, right? Some of my families are cancelling holiday plans, unwilling to sit with friends and relatives who voted for the other one. Many young children are fearful of an uncertain future. Others are emboldened by a new sense of the power of the bully. Schools are seeing a rise in violent messaging towards immigrants and people of color. Spiritual leaders are shaken as religious tolerance is condensed to a question on an immigration form.
Nobody knows what will happen. And that’s really the point: we don’t know. All we can do is get involved, and get educated about the things that are at stake. I believe that nothing is worth sacrificing decency, and I’m fiercely determined to build a wall around my belief. Decency is not an amendment to the Constitution. Decency is a standard of behavior that parents know protects our children, and adults strive for in our real life stories of work and family.
So this is my holiday movie: We’re all sitting around a big table. My family is all there, even the ones who are no longer alive to celebrate. In an old tradition I’ve actually never seen practiced, everybody speaks about something that brings him or her joy. I hear the voices of my grandparents, my father and my son. Friends sacrificed to too many wars are there again. The people who get me through each day with their courage and laughter are sitting beside me. My husband is next to me, holding my hand, and telling me to breathe. Cue the music and the final credits. I’m a happy woman.
No, I don’t know what will happen, but I know what won’t. I won’t forget to practice decency and I’ll keep looking for joy. I’ll also keep watching those movies. They make me believe in miracles. I might even try the Norman Rockwell “gratitude speak” at my own table. You never know where joy is hiding until you look.
Make this a peaceful holiday season. And, remember to breathe.
