Reach Out and Touch a Friend
I want to tell you about this most incredible mother’s council meeting. I don’t know if that what we’re calling these meetings, but I hope there will be more of them. We can fight over the name later. I am so honored to have heard from a mom who read my book, Mad Random: Claiming Life Out of Chaos. Her first contact with me was tentative. She asked me to be in touch with her friend, whom she is worried about. She is concerned that, “it might be too much to ask of me.” She doesn’t know that I’m waiting to hear from her. Always.
Her friend is a single mom with multiple adopted children, all presenting different stages of emotional and neurological disabilities. “Would I meet them, or just talk to her friend?” She is worried about the guilt and isolation her friend is experiencing, and thinks my book and a little conversation will help. I know I will show up, and I pray I can be of some use.
Suggesting a quiet coffee shop in a central location, I set off in plenty of time. The new parking meters downtown are baffling. I can’t find space, and when I do I don’t know how to pay for it. A kind young man, hardwired to technology at birth, gives me a tutorial and I forge ahead. I’ve used my credit card to pay for $14.00 worth of parking because I can’t read the screen. Oh well, the coffee will be cheaper.
Once inside the coffee shop, my mom’s are easy to spot. Open arms and some big bears happen while we find a table and order coffee. They both look tired and stressed and I know that getting away for this time has meant putting some kids in respite, and settling for take-out food.
Within a few minutes, it is clear we have found something important. We don’t know each other, but we know each other’s lives. Pictures come out from wallets and smiling faces are looking up at us from the scarred table. They are all boys. Not a surprise. They are all beautiful. Not a surprise either. Not one boy wears a sign on his forehead announcing his stress and dysfunction. But, my contact is right about her friend. She does need some help. She is going her road alone, without a partner. Her family tries, but can’t see past the destructive lie that more discipline is the answer.
Before we were finished we scheduled a book group to bring together other mom’s around Mad Random. Exploring the possibilities of summer meetings to clue in special education teacher and school guidance counselors is exciting. We designed future afternoon or evening meeting to create a community for moms in isolation. Then we laughed about the chaos that shapes our lives. We didn’t solve anyone’s problem or figure out the perfect school. Instead, we found the one ingredient that will comfort a troubled friend, strengthen a friendship stressed with anxiety and depression, and give this mom new energy for telling my parenting story. We found the intention to listen and to bring hope.
Pictures were stuffed back into purses, and more hugs were given and received. I felt lighter, energized by our talk and from the laughter. I think we were grateful to share our tragedies, and to outline our dreams for the future. That’s what propels parents through another day.
Oh, and I actually brought $0.14 of parking time. Even the $50.00 ticket couldn’t erase my contentment.
Before the day is over, reach out to someone. Send me a message. I’ll help you connect. I’ll tell you more about the book groups that are growing in numbers. It takes no time and it could be the beginning of something miraculous. I’ll even give you some tips on the parking meters. It can’t hurt.
